I’m not a Good Mother

toddler and adult doing hand gestures

So earlier this week, me and my ex-husband (story for another day lol) were driving back to my house from spending a few hours at the mall. My son, who is 8, was having an awful afternoon and was very emotional about everything. Mostly things he didn’t get his way about.

As we drove, me and his dad began to go over the long list of all the things he was so fortunate to have and to be able to do that other kids couldn’t. He had 2 I-pads (one at my house one at his dads), games, tv’s, he received 4 Christmas’s (my house, his dads, his grandparents (both sets), and two birthdays every year. We had also taken him on countless beach trips, Disney World, and were even working on his passport to take him out of the country.

As we went down the list I begin to feel really hopeless as a mother.  We had done everything we could to make sure our child had the life we both dreamed of and had growing up, yet we begin to realize it was not helping him but turning him into this spoiled brat.

It was then that we realized we had to stop for a while for him to truly understand he was blessed.

Experience is quite the teacher.

Yet being the writer and thinker that I am, I begin to think about being a parent in itself.

feeding bottle shallow focus photography

We as a society are always so quick to judge how someone raises their child when it’s the only job you aren’t given a manual for. All we can truly do is take our experiences and how we are raised and give it our best shot. In the end, there is always something we could’ve done differently had we known we were doing it “incorrectly” the first time.

And what happens when you don’t naturally have that motherly or fatherly instinct? You are left to figure it out on your own without even your inner guide showing you and giving you the courage to get the job done.

tilt shift lens photography of woman wearing red sweater and white skirt while holding a boy wearing white and black crew neck shirt and blue denim short

After all this, I realized that  I will never judge anyone’s parenting skills whether I see it as right or wrong. While I do believe children should obviously be safe from any harm or danger, and will not compromise on that, also believe that our society is hard on SOME people who truly just don’t know how to parent. It takes a lot of willpower to admit your getting something terribly wrong, especially something such as parenting that everyone acts like you should just know how to do.

Remember this as you hold your little ones. Parenting, being protective, and putting your child’s needs before your own is a GIFT. Everyone isn’t as fortunate as you to be blessed with that GIFT so instead of passing judgment lets pray for those who are parenting the best way they know how with what they have been given to work with.

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