The one thing I love most about being an adult is probably the same thing everyone else loves about it, THE FREEDOM.
And not just surface freedom of going where you want and doing what you want, but the deep internal freedom of REALLY getting to do whatever you want.
The older I get the more I take off a layer of my parents, societies, and anyone else’s thoughts on how I should live my life.
And I did this not in a rebellious way, but with the knowledge that we all raise and teach other people things that we have been instructed or believe is right.
None of us truly know what is for or not for another person. We can only judge off similar situations and when there are none, hearsay.
With that being said, this Easter, (yes Resurrection Sunday), I went public on social media with a picture of my “resurrected family”.
Me, My x-husband, and our two kids. All smiling. All happy.
Yet before I did this, I searched for months on whether this was the right decision, whether he had changed, and whether we could make this right.
I had such terrible anxiety over this. What will others think? Am I even making the right decision?
And guess what I found while searching for someone else who was going through something similar?
Little to nothing!
There was no societal compass to tell me what to do or how to respond to this situation. I tried every keyword, search bar, and tool I could to find success stories or even blogs on couples who were trying again after divorcing each other (kind of comical looking at it in writing !).
In the end, not looking for answers pushed me into the very place I needed to be.
In freedom and total surrender.
All I had to do was follow my heart and what I felt on the inside.
And it was refreshing and freeing.
I don’t know what the future holds but I do know this,
I am free to decide however and whatever it is I think is best for me !