I do what I want!

 

The one thing I love most about being an adult is probably the same thing everyone else loves about it, THE FREEDOM.

blonde hair blur daylight environment
Photo by Sebastian Voortman on Pexels.com

 

And not just surface freedom of going where you want and doing what you want, but the deep internal freedom of REALLY getting to do whatever you want.

The older I get the more I take off a layer of my parents, societies, and anyone else’s thoughts on how I should live my life.

woman stands on mountain over field under cloudy sky at sunrise
Photo by Victor Freitas on Pexels.com

And I did this not in a rebellious way, but with the knowledge that we all raise and teach other people things that we have been instructed or believe is right.

None of us truly know what is for or not for another person. We can only judge off similar situations and when there are none, hearsay.

woman carrying baby at beach during sunset
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

With that being said, this Easter, (yes Resurrection Sunday), I went public on social media with a picture of my “resurrected family”.

Me, My x-husband, and our two kids. All smiling. All happy.

man and woman standing beside body of water during sunset
Photo by Luis Quintero on Pexels.com

Yet before I did this, I searched for months on whether this was the right decision, whether he had changed, and whether we could make this right.

I had such terrible anxiety over this. What will others think? Am I even making the right decision?

And guess what I found while searching for someone else who was going through something similar?

Little to nothing!

There was no societal compass to tell me what to do or how to respond to this situation. I tried every keyword, search bar, and tool I could to find success stories or even blogs on couples who were trying again after divorcing each other (kind of comical looking at it in writing !).

woman working girl sitting
Photo by Alexander Dummer on Pexels.com

In the end, not looking for answers pushed me into the very place I needed to be.

In freedom and total surrender.

All I had to do was follow my heart and what I felt on the inside.

And it was refreshing and freeing.

woman holding her hat while smiling
Photo by Rafael Barros on Pexels.com

I don’t know what the future holds but I do know this,

I am free to decide however and whatever it is I think is best for me !

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