About 3 weeks ago I had begun to lose vision in my right eye. Literally waking up and feeling like there was a blind keeping just the one eye shut.
Yet as crazy as it sounds, I literally told myself ” aint nobody got time for that !” and chose NOT to make a doctor appt right away. I had the kids to tend to, my relationship that’s going great, church events I was planning, and so much more on my plate. I had no time to take care of me. I literally told myself “You have to wait”
This, of course, didn’t make the situation go away. My symptoms only grew as lack of sleep, dizziness, vision issues, and bouts of crying spells, begin to grow and become a daily routine for me.
I was mentally losing it.
Needless to say, after seeing the doctor today I realized how important it is to seek help AND be okay with asking for help when you need it.
here I discuss how I was okay with having anxiety but the truth is I truly struggle with it. It’s a daily struggle to make a conscious decision to see the good but some days the bad just sucks to be honest, and it feels like my life has forever been changed.
Today, I learned that all of my symptoms were different ways my anxiety was showing its ugly head.
It has gone from crying spells from time to time, to full out body changes and other things I may not realize are caused by it.
After learning all of this I made the decision to begin medication for it. I can no longer run from it any longer.
I realized that perhaps this is where God was trying to get me to all long. A place of total surrender where I had to confront it head on and realize needing help didn’t mean that I lost.
It’s okay to surrender and say you just can’t do it. It doesn’t change who I am as a Christian, person, or even as a mother.
As I thought about this in relation to my faith, why would a loving father create healing for an ailment and then keep his child from receiving it?
My heavenly father lovingly guided me to the doctor to get checked on and healed. I went looking for a different diagnosis and he reminded me that he wants to work on my first issue first. I would not have anxiety and this and that. I would only have anxiety and he would fix it.
When our mind is overwhelmed our body has no choice but to break down, it gets all of its commands from the mind.
Due to my mind not being in a good space, it wasn’t making good decisions for my overall health.
Have you ever denied yourself healing simply because your mind didn’t think it was the correct route to go?
Healing comes in many different forms, I truly believe I have found mine for now ❤