Earlier today I was reading an interview on a famous site I follow and I was intrigued by one of the questions asked by the interviewer. For substance and clarity, the interviewee was expressing how she enjoys people but has no desire to really date or be married to anyone. I could tell this caught the interviewer by surprise because the next question she asked was “are you sexual” in which the interviewee responded that she very much was, however, the connectedness of being with someone else she expressed she never needed or felt with anyone.
What amused me was the fact that because she didn’t really date or want to be married she couldn’t be sexual. The tone of the interview didn’t read as if the interviewer asked in a condescending way, however, I was intrigued that the question was asked at all.
We live in such a world that many people believe that you must have a sexual relationship with others to truly be happy in life. It’s okay to not want a commitment but to say you don’t date for sexual reasons is absurd.
I think I related to this because although I do love the thought of having someone I’m not a highly sexual person.
When I tell people this I instantly have to back it up with admitting my husband blows my world and I have no complaints on his performance.
I, however, connect to the closeness of it and the fact we are both allowing ourselves to be vulnerable in that moment more than the actual act. I get thrilled out of watching my husband’s face and seeing the different ways his body responds to mine. I love to love so learning his body is exhilarating to me. THAT is where I feel the most sexual of all.
After adding that, I do admit that he is the only man I’ve ever been intimate with and I’m immediately met with gawks or comments like “oh well that’s why you aren’t highly sexual ! you haven’t had much experience “.
While experience can change a lot of things in many situations, I feel confident in saying I know my body, my wants, and my desires.
In an overly sexualized world, it’s okay to not be overly sexual.
It seems like the world is becoming so excepting of things “outside the box” that if you choose to stay in the box you are just as scrutinized.
Kind of funny how that works.