I had a really rough week. So rough that those around me had to give me “multiple reality checks” and remind me of all the areas that I am blessed and all the things that I could be struggling with that I’m not.
Many people in the world have issues with debt and having a financial strain of any kind can easily cause stress, headaches, insomnia, and so many more physical symptoms.
After paying 1158.00 for a car inspection, and knowing the other one needed to be done with no emergency savings, I felt defeated.
I am a salaried employee. I work over 80 hours a week and my husband has as well, for a young couple we make very well for our age. Yet with two incomes, we still have times where money gets tight. And for me, I take it as a personal defeat when that is normally not the case at all.
As I was venting to my mom I cried out ” I want to be self- sufficient!” and she calmly replied “that’s the issue right there. You want to step into your strength and not into God’s, and until you change that thinking you will always find yourself in this place.”
And just as a mother’s words usually do, her wisdom was the reality check that I needed.
I work so hard because honestly, I want to depend on myself. I need that reassurance that I can handle anything that comes my way and not have to leave anything to “chance” or in all honesty ” faith”.
I want God to come along so I can say I believe and say he has my back, but truthfully I operate in a space of constantly trying to have my own back.
This causes me stress and the feeling of aloneness because I am in fact stepping away from his help and venturing out on my own.
This week was another reminder that God is always doing the work in me. That trials and tribulations that come, come to teach us a lesson and it’s up to us to find it.
This week my mom helped me realize what the lesson was.
Once I calmed down and mentally gave up the worries and the stress, miraculously my husband and I made 90 dollars in 2 hours from old posts that we had made on the facebook marketplace.
While 90 may be a lot, it was the symbolism for me. God was showing me that he would supply if I would just remove my hands and allow him to do what he does best and fill the areas where I lack.