When I took it Off..

I think it’s natural when big life events happen to naturally find yourself obsessing over it or just thinking about it more often than normal.

As with the corona virus sort of coming into all of our lives and looming in the shadows of everything we can and now can’t do, its normal to focus on the negative effects of it and forget everything else.

Yet if we stop to slow down there still is an “everything else”. Something else is happening in our lives and things are changing in other aspects.

In lament terms life is still going on.

And today while I was at work, masked up , gloves on, and practicing safe social distancing from those I came in contact with, my mind lingered to what else was happening in that moment.

In that moment we were making more of an effort to say with our eyes ” I see you “. It’s hard to social distance from someone and make them feel like it’s not because of them but now we are taking the extra steps of kindness to do so.

We are reassuring each other that we understand with head nods, raised eyebrows, and waves that we are all still connected even disconnected.

Sitting behind the desk, I closed my eyes and prayed for nurses and doctors all over the world who were sitting more confined then I was.

I felt more connected to others.

When I took the mask off , I enjoyed the freedom of fresh air.

The feeling of “release” I felt in my mind and the relaxation I felt coming back to my breathing was euphoric.

I felt a natural high.

Earlier in the week, I ran around the yard with my kids like a maniac because I wanted to feel the sun on my cheeks and the grass in my un gloved hands.

After exhausting myself, I played barbies with my daughter and listened to my son read as the breeze lulled us all into a peaceful state.

We watched as hordes of deer came out of places we had never seen deer and birds sing so loud we cut the radio off and rolled the windows down instead.

We admired and commented on how “fresh” the sky looked and how bright the sun was. The air seemed so clear and calming.

Earth felt beautiful.

After my last shift, having thrown the gloves away and packed up the masks, when I stepped outside and felt the cold breeze, I closed my eyes and I actually enjoyed it, spread my arms out and laughed right there in the parking lot facing the sky.

I laughed because I heard God laugh.

And I heard him say ” It took all of this for you to enjoy the simple things I’ve created for you” .

And as a child who felt caught with their hands in the cookie jar, I sighed and laughed back, “yes it took all of this for your stubborn little girl to enjoy you’re wonderful creation”.

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